I blogged for a long time. I blogged for five years. Wait, no, longer. But I blogged about “lifestyle” for 5 years. I rebranded my blog two years in. I changed the name from, what I felt, was a “clever” song lyric (“sweeping out the bats”) when I created it to something more substantial – to something that better represented what I was blogging about: Jess vs. Life
I find myself reflecting on this name now. “Jess versus Life” – as if life were something to fight against. And I suppose at the time, and even now in many ways, I felt/feel that it was/is. Except that it shouldn’t be. And I don’t benefit myself by thinking of every day as a struggle over an existence I have little control over.
I don’t want to be working against life anymore. I want to be living my life and present in my everyday; present in my body, in my mind, in my work, and in my play. And I want to blog about it.
And so we evolve yet again and become: Jess Has A Blog.
Because I do. And this is it. Welcome to it. Thanks to all of those who have followed me all the way through until now.
My last check-in back in September talked a lot of self-positivity and mindfulness. I’m still in pursuit of these things. I’m just trying to figure out who I am as an adult person and get used to being that person.
I think this me versus everything-else-but-most-specifically-my-weight-and-body-image mentality is what lead me to abandon this blog back in January of 2015. I wasn’t somehow battling against oppression and winning, I was fighting against myself and it was awful. That’s a lose-lose situation. So leaving the blog behind worked out pretty great… until it didn’t. I no longer had an outlet. And without the blog, no matter how much I told myself I would “journal”, I couldn’t keep it up and couldn’t keep myself accountable to it.
Writing is so good for me. It gives me purpose in my darkest moments when I feel like I have none. And sharing my thoughts and feelings accomplishes the same. The blog, it provided both the purpose and the outlet – and I greatly missed both.
So, I think I’m back. I’d be lying if I said, “I’m no longer blogging about health/fitness/weight loss/body image.” I will still be blogging about those things. Maybe even mostly those things, actually. I’m just going to come at it in a different way, from a better perspective.
I ended with a list of goals in September, they were as follows:
get back to running for the love of it and to support mental health
get back to strength training to support running and avoid injury
continue eating intuitively a wide variety of foods
I have a few tweaks, but mostly the same concepts. As we come into February, my goals will be:
reduce/manage stress by sleeping enough – regularly
begin a 5k training program to ease back into running
practice the body-weight strength program I recently began 2-3 times a week
continue eating intuitively – not too much, mostly veggies
I’m really excited to get this writing/documenting thing going again and hope you’ll stay tuned.