Week 2 Check-In – Just That Easy?

Well, not quite. As you likely remember, about a month ago I woke up and thought, “I feel gross and tired and uncomfortable.” So, I calculated my TDEE at my current activity level, set my goal calories at 2,000 and spent a week repairing my relationship with MyFitnessPal, tracking food again and getting used to that process while using those good ol’ cognitive behavioral tools consistently and daily to prevent myself from falling into that obsessive self-hate mode that tended to plague me in the past while calorie counting. I decided not to focus too much on macros; get my portions under control, adjust some food choices to include more veggies overall, and get used to the idea of adding some daily activity. I knew to avoid my recurrent back issues strength training was going to be absolutely necessary, especially focusing on glute and core strength. I knew for controlling my depression and anxiety, running as often as I could without injuring myself was imperative. Life was busy happening all around me (and then The Dreaded Sickness), so while I got some workouts in here and there, I didn’t really get committed on the exercise front until about two weeks ago.

The other day I thought to myself, “Well, it was just that easy, wasn’t it?” Except “easy” is deceiving. If it was Just That Easy, I wouldn’t have spent the majority of the last 9 months struggling to get into a routine and a good mental space with that routine. The “easy” for me has much to do with the warm weather and 15 hours of sunlight. Summer Solstice being only a week away and the slow shortening of days beginning is already a constant concern floating around in my head, but I’m trying to not put too much focus on that.

As I mentioned last week, my motivation and follow-through is high. For now. And that’s okay. All I can do is take advantage of it in the moment and hope that my love for the activities I’ve chosen to do will see me through.

Progress check-in at 6/12/16:
Weight: 222lbs (+2lbs – this is my period week, so this didn’t surprise me at all)
Bust: 42.75 (-0.25″)
Under Bust: 37.25″ (+0.25″ – I think I measured incorrectly the first time)
Arm (flexing): 13.75″ (-0.25″)
Waist: 36.75″ (-0.75″)
At Navel: 40.5″ (-1.5″)
Hips: 49.75″ (-0.75″)
Thigh: 29″ (no change)
Calf: 16″ (no change)
Estimated Body Fat: 38.5% (-2.5% – this doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, which is why really the best BF estimate (outside of lab testing) is done with calipers and someone trained to use them)

I’m hoping to be prouder of these bi-weekly photos here in another few weeks.. but this is what it is and this body is still a good body that can do lots of cool things.

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I am still here! I do still occasionally write!

Hi, yes, hello, it’s me! I live and breathe! 

I was sick for like 6 days. I’m finally starting to feel better. And, as you saw from my Instagram, I did an exercise this week! My motivation is high. It is strong right now. I’m so very committed to making this whole lifestyle overhaul happen

This week, anyway. 

But that’s okay! I’ll take it! It’s all I got and that is ooookaaaay!

So, for those of you who follow my Facebook page, you will have seen where I sang everyone a song about weighing 220lbs and having no pants that fit properly. And that may have seemed a little body-shamey/negative, etc. But really (really really) it’s okay! It was more a “coming to terms” thing, saying, like, “Okay, hey, this is my reality right now. And that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that. But it is also okay to feel like, oh, hey, I’d like to fit in the pants I’ve already spent money on instead of having to go spend more money on new  pants.” 

And what does that mean, ladies and gents? …the thing I’ve sworn off time and again: purposeful weight loss. 

I’ve been overeating for my activity level for almost 2 years now. I’ve been consistently and slowly packing on pounds each month. I’ve been drinking too much and sleeping too little, both of which mostly definitely add to my tendency to overeat and under-exercise.

I will not insult anyone’s intelligence here by saying, “It’s not about being thin.” Because part of it IS. And, yes, you can feel that way and still be body positive about yourself and others and love yourself through a purposeful weight loss process and continue to celebrate body diversity and all that jazz. Which is exactly what I intend to do! 

So what’s my plan? Great question. Here it is:
* participate in moderate to heavy lifting 3 times a week
* restart 5k training program and run 3 times a week
* eat at a 10% caloric deficit
* sleep 7-8 hours each night
* wake up around the same time every morning 

What is my current start point? Well, here we go, folks… 
As of 06/01/2016
Weight: 220lbs
Estimated Body Fat %: 41% (avg. between the YMCA and US Navy formulas)
Bust: 43″
Under Bust: 37″
Arm (flexing): 14″
Waist: 37.5″
At Navel: 42″
Hips: 50.5″
Thigh: 29″ 
Calf: 16″

And photos:

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I’m having a little anxiety over sharing these photos.. one, because my mirror is clearly SUPER dirty.. and two, because, well, I’m not super comfortable with what my half-nekkid body looks like that. But the more I look at these, the more I feel like, “It’s okay. It’s still a beautiful body. It still works in all the ways it’s supposed to. It’s all okay.” 

Lots of “okay” being thrown around, haha! 

My regular check-ins are going to be Monday mornings (if I can remember) because this should give me over 24 hours since a workout and allow any water retention from that to shed. I’ll be weighing weekly and taking measurements/progress photos bi-weekly. 

Here we go!