Time for what’s becoming a monthly check-in it seems!
So, I’ve been thinking about my lack of consistency with this blog and I think part of the reason I’ve been so slow with the upkeep is that I’ve all of a sudden become really self-conscious of what I write here – of what people might think or how I might be judged. I don’t know why. I don’t know where it’s coming from. But that’s why there’s been so much radio silence. I’m sorry, Readers. Now that I recognize what’s causing my disconnect from regular writing in this space, I can hopefully feel the feelings, work through them, and move on.
In the meantime, a little update:
August has been, frankly, kind of miserable. My 4-year-old was sick with pneumonia for 11 days, I had to cut short a long weekend trip that I was so looking forward to, my 10-year-old has had the worst attitude about everything (hormones maybe?), I began training for a new position at work (I fear change! So much!), I experienced some heated confrontations within my social circle that brought some things to a head, and once I moved through all that our vacation week was upon us and became more of a Hell Week than Vacation. I had a solid two weeks of feeling pretty depressed, but I think I’m coming out of that now – thank goodness – and on top of all that, all exercise with the exception of walking has fallen completely to the wayside. However, on a much more positive note: I’ve reconnected with some old acquaintances and am building new friendships with those folks as well as making some brand new friends! I’m also focusing more on doing things that I actually enjoy with the people I most enjoy spending time with instead of doing things out of a feeling of guilt or obligation (or fear of conflict); I’m really enjoying my training for my new position at work and am super stoked to begin with my own tasks next week, I’ve kept up with my regular walks, I’ve lost 6lbs. by tracking calories and being reasonable with food choices (and hitting my 10,000 steps goal most days!), I’m motivated and planning to get back into a regular exercise/lifting routine, and really happy with my self-care priorities despite my short depressive episode. Oh! And I’m trying to stay positive about the approaching fall; planning some fun trips and activities to look forward to, etc.
So there we have it. Hopefully I’ll be checking back in soon!